words

cultural evolution

RAGE !!!

Photo copyright © AP, 1999

On Saturday morning, May 8, 1999 I awoke around 8:00 a.m. and as usual, turned on my computer to collect my e-mail and read the news. I was stunned when I saw a story that apparently, NATO had bombed the Chinese embassy in Yugoslavia. Well, it was and is a big issue and things did seem, for a moment, like they might spin out of control here.

We foreign teachers were surfing the Internet news for hours for constant updates. (Contrary to what you hear about the Internet in China, we have no problem in getting regularly updated news from AP, Reuters, etc.)

The e-mail was flying fast and furious from friends and family. Also, I am active on a Yale University Internet List for past, present and future teachers in China (called TEFL-China) and, as you can imagine, the discussion was furious - from "What the f**k happened?", to "Are you folks in danger?" to "Should I still plan on coming to China?"

To capture the mood, indignation, and situation here as events were unfolding, I have taken some excerpts from my e-mail during that period to friends, family and the TEFL-China E-Mail List and am reprinting it exactly as it happened. I hope it is enlightening: on the mood. the anxiety, and the response here in China immediately after the bombing.

(And I have to point out - the initial demonstrations and marches were spontaneous - not drummed up, although they later were officially "helped along"; but only in the sense of trying to control the massive RAGE the people felt.)

Make no mistake: The RAGE was genuine among the students and people.

Here are some excerpts from e-mails and other writings I did at the moment which, I think, capture what those of us here were going through then.

(Note: TEFL-China is an Internet mailing list I subscribe to which teachers in China use to communicate with each other.)

May 9 @ 11:21 a.m. [to TEFL-China in response to a question about whether the Bombing might create problems in the classroom]

No doubt about it, I guess my lesson plan is set for this week. I'm
teaching writing at Suzhou U. and I'm going to get 150 essays flaming me
and my country. But the good thing is (if anything good really can
emerge from this whole mess), I'll get the best 150 essays I can expect
all semester.

May 9 @ 12:18 p.m. [to TEFL-China]

I'm sitting here in Suzhou with the CCTV News on. My Chinese is very
poor (Teachers here? That phrase ring a bell?). I keep hearing
"dashiguan" which is "embassy". But to my poorly trained ear, it sounds
like "dashaguo" which means "big, stupid, turtle egg" a Chinese curse
word. Accident or not, I think NATO at this moment qualifies as a
"dashaguo".

Just for kicks and as a service to the list (yeah right!), I'm about to
go out and take a crosstown bus and have lunch at McDonalds. I'll report
back in a couple of hours what I run into.

May 09 @ 3:33 p.m. [to TEFL-China]

Well, I took a crowded crosstown bus to McDonalds and it was business as
usual there. But on my way to the bus stop, the normally friendly shop
owners merely nodded their heads in hello. I saw a late of hate in
people's eyes. And I got not a single hello, even from the san lun che
(rickshaw) drivers. A family of four did come over to talk to me at
McDonalds but the embassy wasn't mentioned. Then on the way back, just
near the campus, the bus ran into a street march. About a block-long
line of students were marching and chanting. I think the bus driver was
scared to death having a foreigner on his bus because he let me get off
before the normal stop. The marchers had already passed but a few
students in the rear saw me. But they didn't do or say anything directed
toward me. It was a well organized march and the police were out in
force. At no time did I feel threatened. But the people here are angry.
If you've been here, you know Chinese anger. It isn't verbal. It's in
the eyes. And I saw it in the eyes all day today.

May 10 @ 9:00 p.m. [a group e-mail to family and close friends in response to inquiries on my well-being]

I'm sure you've heard the news of Chinese Embassy bombing and the
resulting demonstrations and protests here. Yes, it's very tense here.
But as of right now, I don't feel at risk whatsoever.

The anger towards America and NATO is palpable. In the last two days, I
feel it wherever I go. The normally friendly and out going shopkeepers
on my street merely nod their heads in greeting. Very few smiles and
virtually no "Helloooos".

Yes, people are pissed (and rightfully so-how incredibly stupid can NATO
be to bomb a Chinese embassy.) Most of the people I have talked to are
seething-but at the U.S. government and not Americans in general. In
fact in a special speech on TV last night which we watched with a
Chinese professor translating for us, the government stated that they
supported the "lawful" demonstrations but warned they must remain
peaceful. And they specially noted that foreigners should be protected
>from harm as it was in the national interest to continue along their
road to development. And us foreigners here are critical to that plan.

So I'm not too worried at this point. (But if NATO pulls another
dumb-ass move like last weekend's, I may have to hightail it to the
airport.)

Tomorrow I will have my first classes of the week. From some of the
teachers today, I learned there is a lot of anger. Classes were more
somber than tense. I guess I'll find out tomorrow. Their was a march on
Sunday. Thousands of students marched near the campus and then headed
downtown. I was coming back home on the bus (from McDonalds of all
places) and the bus ran into the block-long line of students. They were
chanting, banging drums and waving signs, banners and flags. I think the
bus driver was a little nervous, lest they see a foreigner on his bus.
After the march passed by, I asked him to let me off. Now understand,
bus drivers here will never let you off except at a posted bus stop. No
problem today though, he gladly threw the doors open so I could jump
off. A few students at the tail-end of the march saw me, but said
nothing and they didn't raise any alarms at the sight of me. They just
kept marching and chanting.

An hour later I was to meet a student who had made an appointment with
me earlier in the week. At 4:30 pm, the time of the appointment, no sign
of her. Five minutes later my phone rang. It was her. She was in the
march and by now they had crossed to the other city of town. So she had
jumped out of line to use a payphone to call me and tell me she'd be
late. I just said, "You know, why don't we just meet later this week."

So anyway, there is a lot of sound and fury here. And it has lots of
significance. This is the first time large-scale demonstrations have
been permitted in 10 years and these students are getting a chance to
experience organized protesting for the first time. Unfortunately, it's
directed at my country and all because of the inane actions of NATO.
And, you know, every western news article notes how the demonstrations
are organized by the government. Well it's no different then, say
getting a parade permit in Cleveland. You get the permit, they tell you
where to walk, and the cops stand by. Believe me, these students and
others are pissed off. No one's putting guns to their heads and saying
"March, dammit." Living here, you really notice the slant western
journalists put on their writing about China. But that's another issue
for another time. (And, no, no one is putting a gun to MY head and
telling me to write that!)

Anyway, I'm kind of glad it is so well organized. As long as it stays
that way, things will pass. I feel it may take a longer time to repair
the damage done to China-U.S. relations. The "collateral damage" done to
that tenuous bridge we are trying to build between our peoples was
heavy. But I hope it hasn't been destroyed. Tomorrow I get on with the
job of trying to save that bridge.

MAY 10 @ 9:17 a.m. [in response to an e-mail inquiry.]

Fiona:

I'll confirm your point re: the U.S. apology not being publicized here.
I just got off the phone with our waiban who called to assure/assuage
the foreign teachers here at Suzhou U. She was quite surprised when I
told her Clinton had apologized. She, like everyone else, stated the
bombing had been a deliberate act. A Chinese colleague yesterday
translated the newspaper report for me. In it, great care was taken to
note that the embassy was struck by three missiles, each of which
"arrived" from different angles. Thus the original explanation of "oops,
sorry, a missile went astray" didn't quite cut it. Which is perhaps why
the "official NATO" story has been changed to "oops, sorry, we thought it was
a munitions depot and we had old maps". So NATO has gone from "The Gang Who Couldn't Shoot
Straight" to "The Gang Who Couldn't Read Straight". And "oops, sorry"
isn't much comfort to anyone actually living here right now-Chinese or
foreigner.

NOTE: Approximately 45 minutes after sending the previous e-mail, I received a phone call from the Suzhou University (SUDA) Foreign Affairs Office asking me to be interviewed (along with Bob Charlick, another foreign teacher here, on our reaction to the bombing. "When?" I asked. "Right now," I was told, "the camera crew is downstairs." Typical Chinese scheduling.

Here's what happened next:

MAY 10-Monday (article I wrote)
Chinese Embassy Bombing

The Monday morning following the Chinese embassy bombing Bob Charlick and I were sitting around talking about events over the past few days when my phone rang. It was the Foreign Affairs Office of Suzhou University. "Would you mind talking to Suzhou TV about the bombing?" they asked.

"Uhm, when?" I replied.

"Right now. The camera crew is here," they said. Typical Chinese scheduling.

So Bob and I complied. Aware that both President Clinton and the U.S. Ambassador, James Sasser, had issued apologies that weren't being reported in the Chinese media, I quickly jumped on the Internet and pulled a copy off the U.S. Embassy website while Bob was being interviewed. When my turn came, I voiced my shock, sorrow and regret over the incident. Then I read Sasser's apology on camera. I gave a copy to the reporter in the hopes that they would translate it and report it when they ran our interviews.

That evening, a friend called to tell me she had seen me on the Suzhou Evening News. "How'd I do?" I asked.

"Hao Kan!" she replied. "You looked handsome".

I was looking for substance not bullshit.

When I asked her whether they had shown Sasser's apology, though, she told me they had not. The Chinese media would not report the apologies issued by Clinton, NATO, and Sasser until the following evening.

On the other hand, I found the apologies offered by the U.S. at that point (and still), insufficient.

May 14 @ 9:36 a.m. [to TEFL-China in response to a number of inquiries by teachers preparing to come to teach in China for the summer on whether they should cancel their plans]

Two anecdotes to calm the fears/questions of those wondering whether to
come to China in light of recent events:

1. I like to play basketball. A lot. And every day. And I have been,
frankly, leery of doing so since NATO oops'ed.

Wednesday, after laying low for five days, I ventured over to the Suzhou U. basketball courts.
Usually this is greeted by great excitement/interest among the local
students. Well, I got the angry, muttering stares. At first. Then we
started playing, and about twenty minutes into the game, I hit a fade
away jumper from the corner and the small crowd which had assembled
broke into spontaneous applause and shouts of "Hao Qiu" (good shot) and
"Piao Liang" (Beautiful"). After that, it was merely 8 basketball
players playing hoops, not 7 Chinese and 1 American devil.

2. The first few days of classes were a little rough. To walk into a
classroom and see students you have come to like and respect showing
obvious hurt, anger, and resolve (heads bowed, teeth clenched, sideways
glances) was rough. After awhile things smoothed out; at least to the
extent possible under the circumstances. (And a note to anyone not here:
the news reports implying that Chinese reaction is all a government
orchestrated ploy are GROSSLY inaccurate. The people here are pissed - party
members or not). Anyway, classes went on this week, albeit somberly and
uneasily. But nothing prepared me for my last class yesterday morning.
Not even the e-mail the class monitor sent me the night before asking
whether it would be okay if they had a short memorial service for the
slain during class. Not wanting to ruffle feathers, I e-mailed back
saying, "Of course you can."

Well, when I arrived at class, some students had decorated the
blackboard with pictures of the three dead reporters and flowers and
eulogia. They conducted a short memorial service and
then I opened "the floor" to discussion. The first few questions I got
were the same ones all of us here have been getting all week (multiple
variations on the theme of "Why?"). Then all hell broke loose. One of
the students stood up and started screaming at...at...not me, but the
other students. In brief, she thought they were being impolite (though
she used stronger language, words I never taught them in class!). Then
she broke down in heaving sobs. Fortuitously, the bell rang for break.
During break, another student came up to me outside the classroom and
tried to apologize. I told the student that really, truly, I had no
problem with discussing these matters and felt they had every right, not
to mention reason, for raising the subject with me, an American. After
break, some students still insisted on questioning me. They weren't
being belligerent or accusatory (towards me anyway) in the least. They
just wanted some answers, some reasons, some understanding of how and
why this terrible tragedy occurred. Of course, I had no answers, but I
tried to provide as much background as I could. And I told them how
sorrowful I was-not just for the loss of their countrymen, but for (and
please excuse the metaphor but I think it's apt) the "collateral damage"
done to that bridge that those of us in China (foreigner and Chinese
alike) have been working so hard to build in the last 20 years. It was
obvious to me that many of the students were upset with the class
leaders for having raised these issues. I honestly had no problem with
fielding these issues, but, in the true Chinese spirit, most of the
students felt they were being impolite. When a student stood up to tell
me that, "Yes, you are a foreigner but we don't blame you. You are our
teacher and we still love you, A number of students broke down crying.
And had I not taken that moment to end class and quickly leave the room,
they might have seen the tears in my eyes, too.

So to all who are wondering whether to come to China - YES, DO IT. You
owe it to yourselves to come and meet the kindest, most caring people
you will ever meet.

And we foreigners over here need your help in rebuilding that bridge.