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Poo Bear Notebook

I require my writing class students to keep a writing journal This is the cover of the notebook Mike bought to use in my current writing class. (Yes, they sell stuff like this here.)

I don't think he likes my writing class.

Choco Dog

This is pretty disgusting...a hot dog slathered with chocolate sauce.
Chinese marketers are trying to cash in on the "western culture" boom. But, as in most things, they just can't get it right. They know Hot Dogs are a western thing and Chocolate is a western thing so, HEY! let's sell them both as Choco Dogs!!!! I'm not kidding.

Lays Potato Chips sells big here, so there are now a half a dozen Potato Chip knock-offs. And French Fries are sold at KFC and McDonalds all over China. And what do you get when you order French Fries? A pack of ketchup. And French Fries and Potato Chips are both made from potatoes. So two or three of the knock-offs sell bags of potato chips with a packet of ketchup inside. Potato chips and ketchup. Yum!

Hangzhou's New Taxis

Hangzhou taxi drivers are crazy, but they do drive just about the best taxis I've experienced in all of China. The Dazhong Taxi Company has a huge fleet of big, clean, comfy taxis (Audi's and Audi knockoffs)...not the tiny Jaili 4-wheeled roller skates, or worse, the quasi golf-carts, that pass for taxis in most Chinese towns. Well, Dazhong just upgraded the fleet. How many American cities do you know that now feature a fleet of 50 Mercedes-Benz taxis. Huh? I rode in one a couple of weeks ago and it's only 2 RMB more expensive than the regular taxis.
Photo from: Zhejiang Online

UPDATE: Like many "service" workers in China's bigger cities these days, many of the taxi drivers in Hangzhou are often  from the countryside. Apparently, the drivers of these new Mercedes-Benz taxis felt they were getting a raw deal.  So they absconded with the taxis back to their hometown in protest of the way they were being treated. The story can be found here:

http://english.zjol.com.cn/05english/system/2006/01/16/006444950.shtml

Halloween in Hangzhou????? No!

"Five welder wearing face guard work at a construction site in the New Qianjiang City,
which will be the central business district of Hangzhou in the future."
Zhejiang Online
(Chinglish as per original)

More countryside workers finding work in Hangzhou.
NOTE: Construction safety regulations in China.
 

You can read the English yourself.
The Chinese reads Knife "Factory" or "Workshop".
Bad English.
Or a workshop where knives are bred.

Visit thus enter
Sounds like a line from a bad sci-fi movie.
Alien: "Visit, humanoid, thus enter."

Indian Buddha in China?
Nah, just my buddy Ajay goofin' around in a Huzhou Park. Actually, one could say that Ajay is a QC Buddha. Read on.

We were part of a delegation of foreigners who spent the day at Huzhou. It was a pretty wacky day.
Here's some more pictures of the delegation.
Ajay is from India. He's retired from the World Bank and spending his retirement years in China consulting in his area of expertise - quality control. Despite (or because of) having worked for the World Bank for many years, he has a great sense of humor. He spotted that concrete dias and promptly hopped on it. Behind me, the Chinese folks in the crowd were howling and snapping photos. Ajay spreads warmth and humor (and valuable advice) wherever he goes in China.

Sovereign Shark Restaurant - Hangzhou

If you name a restaurant "Sovereign Shark" either:
(a) it's a restaurant where trial lawyers hang out, or
(b) it serves fresh shark.

In the U.S., (a) would be the right answer.
In Hangzhou, the answer is (b). See below....

It's got a big fish tank outside in front,
with your dinner swimming around.
NOTE: The shark is NOT wearing wing-tips.

I haven't a clue what this sign means.
It greets you at the entrance to the restaurant in the Garden Hotel in Haining.

Strengthen Urinary Surgery Hospital - Hangzhou
One would hope that their hospital care is better than their English.

My buddy Curtis, a Clevelander now teaching in Ningbo, took this picture.
He swears this is the scene that greeted him when he first stepped off the bus in downtown Ningbo.
(Click the picture to enlarge it.)

Haveli
There's a great Indian restaurant in Hangzhou - Haveli.
The management and kitchen staff are Indian. The atmosphere and food is authentic Indian - a nice break from Chinese food. Plus, the entire staff, Indian and Chinese, speak excellent English - unlike 95% of the other places in Hangzhou. It's an Asian oasis. And they have a belly dancer. A women from Xinjiang dances every night about 8:00 pm for the diners. Here, a Chinese kid, who came to Haveli with his mother and father for a cross-cultural experience, gets a lesson in culture. Indian food in a Chinese city with a Xinjiang women dancing an Indian belly dance.
Notice...he could care less about the food.
 

PECKER BIG MOUTH
My Chinese friends tell me this is a very famous brand
of men's clothing in China.

Walking the Family Water Buffalo
Summer, 2004
Coming down from Shi Liang Mountain in Tiantai, Zhejiang this summer, our car passed this tiny girl out for a walk with her family's water buffalo. She had the rein in her left hand and a stick in her right hand and, despite the size difference, she was definitely in control.

Random English
(@ an upscale shoe store at West Lake Mall)
Although most Chinese study English, they can't speak it well and don't notice it unless it is in their textbooks or on one of their innumerable tests. Outside the classroom, this shoe isn't even noticed. To most, it's just random English.
 

 
Laowai in the Rain

Russell, Greg, and Carl from ZUCC shakin' their skinny glowsticks - at the CCTV ExtravaGonzo in Huzhou.
(October 2003)

Meanwhile,  in case things got out of hand, waiting outside the Huzhou ExtravaGonzo were the rIOT pOLiCE....
armed with glowstick-repelling riot-shields......

........ whose commander tried to stop us from documenting same.

Last year, China announced a Vanity License Plate program. Car-owners could pay an additional fee and specify their own vanity license plate. The only two rules were: (1) The plate had to be 3 alphabetic letters and 3 numbers; and (2) it couldn't have political or pornographic meanings.

Always eager to show their FACE, Chinese car owners rushed to the bureau to "buy" some vanity. The program lasted about 3 days. Then it was revoked. Word was that they were overwhelmed AND they couldn't figure out (in English) all the possible permutations of the requests they got. Still, the lucky few who got there early, got their requested plates...like this owner of a tiny dink car who secured "CEO 001". As if this playa's plate will make people think he's Bill Gates!.......

Yet another way to scoot around Hangzhou
 

And it's a lot more environmentally-friendly than the
Big Black Buicks, and the little "CEOs", that are choking Hangzhou's streets today.)

Chinese Toilets Go Upscale

If you have never been to China, these pictures will be confusing...and perhaps a little gross. Your typical Chinese toilet is a porcelain hole in the ground.

If you have ever been in China for longer than a month (ie. you've acclimated), you will agree with me that the pictures below represent just about the most state-of-the-art toilet you'll find in China....courtesy of the Japanese.

It can be found at a small Japanese restaurant on Bao Chu Lu, near West lake, in Hangzhou. It's actually a single hole - the whole restroom is mirrored (save the floor). In the first and third pictures, that small metallic rectangular thing attached to the mirror behind the hole is a "flush-sensor". When you're done doing your duty and you "un-squat", it flushes the toilet.

But here is where Japanese ingenuity really comes into play here ... in the middle picture, that yellow-orange-ish rectangular mosaic tile stuck on the mirror in front of the hole is, as I was told by my German friend ANKA who introduced me to this place, perfectly positioned so that as you squat, you don't have to watch your genitalia as you do your duty.

And who says the Chinese and Japanese can't co-operate?
(You can click on the pics to get a "closer" view)

 

Ronald McDonald is now advertising on Suzhou's rickshaws.

The What House!

Near Hangzhou is a nice tourist trap called the Song Dynasty City. It's a restored ancient city from the Song Dynasty. At the front gate, you'll see a huge sign for another tourist trap called "America World". Some crazy developer here decided to build a theme park with an American theme right next door to an ancient Song City.

And guess what sits right in the middle of America World? A full-size replica of The White House. I almost dropped my camera when I turned the corner and came upon this view. Other replicas in the park include the Washington monument (under construction-that's the scaffolding for it on the left) and the Magic Castle of Disney Land.

There's lots more interesting stuff at America World - in Hangzhou. Go here to see more.

Naked Golfers

China is filled with public sculpture everywhere from the ancient, through the revolutionary (nearly every large city has a huge Statue of Chairman Mao in it's city center), to modern art.

(Really, I should create a page here on Chinese public art).

But this is one of the strangest ones I have run across. Three naked golfers! It's situated in the "Viewing the Fish at Yuquan Pool" park in Hanghzou.

Female Mud-Wrestling
One of Hangzhou's discos decided to try Female Mud Wrestling in an attempt to draw more customers.
It wasn't pretty.

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Nice Roasters

Guess what! Harbin has a Kenny Rogers Roasters restaurant. (I ate there, too. It's as bad as in the States.)

How did I find out about it? Well, here's the promotional booth they had set up at the Harbin Ice Festival.

Do you think Kenny would approve?

By the way, it was about -30ºC/-22ºF that day - a bit ... uhm ... nippy.

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Traffic

You've read about how crazy traffic in China can be here at Chuck @ China and I'm sure other places. Click on this picture and have a look. No, this isn't an accident scene. This is a typical situation in Suzhou. You see, when the light changes, no one thinks about waiting. Everyone just goes - whether left, right or straight. Madness ensues.

(To get a drivers license here, you spend a couple hundred dollars on a short driving course. Then you buy a carton of cigarettes and take the driving examiner out for lunch. Then he gives you a 5 minute test in an enclosed parking lot. And there you are - you have your license! And you've never even had to venture out on the streets, much less the high-speed tollways.)

Here's a clue if you are coming to live in China: get a bike. As more and more Chinese buy cars these days and are clueless as to how to drive responsibly, it's only going to get worse.

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Here Come the Brides

Hangzhou is a popular place for weddings. And West Lake is a popular place for couples to pose for their wedding pictures. On any given day, you'll see dozens of newlyweds wandering around to pose for wedding pictures.

How many brides can you spot in this picture?

How many cell phones?

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Ubiquitous Umbrellas on a Sunny Day

The Chinese are deathly afraid of sunshine. That's why you see the streets filled with people under umbrellas on a clear, blue sunny day wherever you go in China.

They assume (wrongly) that foreigners are likewise frightened of the sun and so seeing the foreigners sitting in the hot sun, one kindly soul ran over and gave them her umbrella to shade them from the sun. Though they wouldn't be caught dead using a tacky umbrella on a perfectly sunny day in the west, Ron and John got a kick out of it.

And I got a picture out of it, too.

(Sept. 2001)